The books that hit different

A mix of philosophy, fiction, and life lessons that rewired my thinking.

A few months ago, I came across a post by Janet Asante Sullivan where she shared the books that built her, those that shaped her thinking, comforted her, challenged her, and ultimately became part of her. I loved the idea instantly, so inspired by her, here’s my own version.

Spiritual and Philosophical

• The Book of Ecclesiastes, The Bible: Nothing humbles you quite like Ecclesiastes. “Vanity of vanities, all is vanity” is basically the biblical equivalent of “life is a scam.” It’s a reminder of how temporary everything is.

• Meditations by Marcus Aurelius: Marcus Aurelius, Roman emperor (and accidental life coach), offers timeless guidance in Meditations. He doesn’t preach toxic positivity or ignore real emotions. Instead, he points out that some things are simply not ours to control.

• Notes on Grief by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie: Grief is universal, but when you’re in it, it feels like the loneliest place on earth. Notes on Grief captures that raw feeling of losing someone, the way time moves differently, how the world keeps going while yours has stopped.

• On the Shortness of Life by Seneca: Seneca, like Marcus Aurelius, was brutally honest: life isn’t short, people just don’t use it well. This book is a guide to taking back control of the one thing that’s truly ours (time) and how can we reclaim it.

• The Spirit of Intimacy: Ancient African Teachings in the Ways of Relationships by Sobonfu Somé: This book shares West African teachings on love, community, and ritual. She shows how these ancient principles can nurture deeper bonds and spiritual connection in modern relationships.

Self-Discovery and Personal Growth

• All About Love by bell hooks: bell hooks completely redefined love for me: not just romantic love, but love for self, for friends, and for community.

• The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz: Took me years to read this. Maybe I wasn’t ready to let go of my bad habits. The Four Agreements is a reminder that the way you speak, think, and act creates your world.

• Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer: Say what you want about Joyce Meyer, but this book is gold. Your own mind is your biggest enemy, thoughts shape reality, negativity is a cycle, and shifting your mindset can actually change your life. A mix of faith, psychology, and self-help that actually works.

• Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers: Possibly the best thing an ex ever did: recommend this book which changed everything in my life. It gave me the courage to move countries, switch careers, and push through hesitation.

• Conversations on Love by Natasha Lunn: Love in every form: romantic, platonic, self-love, heartbreak. This book made me rethink what love actually is, beyond the version we grow up believing in.

• The Fatherless Daughter Project by Denna Babul and Karin Luise: This book explores the emotional impact and long-term effects of growing up without a father figure. It combines personal stories, expert insights, and practical guidance to help women recognize how unresolved “father wounds” can shape self-esteem, relationships, and life choices.

• The Sex Lives of African Women by Nana Darkoa Sekyiamah: A collection of personal stories from women across Africa and its diaspora, exploring what desire, freedom, and intimacy look like on their own terms.

History & Social Commentary

• Le Génocide Voilé by Tidiane N’Diaye: We hear a lot about the transatlantic slave trade, but almost nothing about the trans-Saharan slave trade. This book lays out the facts, the violence, the destruction, and how it’s been left out of history books.

• Allah Is Not Obliged by Ahmadou Kourouma: Growing up in Togo, someone escaped from Liberia during the war and said something that still haunts me: "So many dead people that the country smelled like blood." That war was chaos, and this book following a child soldier’s journey takes you right into it.
  

Fiction & Storytelling

• Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie: A story about identity, race, and belonging through the eyes of a Nigerian woman navigating America. As a Togolese immigrant in France, this one hit close to home.

• A Very Long Engagement by Sébastien Japrisot: A woman refuses to believe her fiancé died in World War I and goes looking for answers. It’s romantic, tragic, and beautifully written.

• Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier: Few books have ever made me feel as haunted as Rebecca. It’s not just a gothic novel but an entire masterclass in atmosphere, power dynamics, and obsession. The way D. du Maurier captures anxiety, imposter syndrome, and the presence of someone who isn’t even there anymore is truly captivating.

• La Vie Devant Soi by Romain Gary: One of my favorite book. Momo, a young orphan, is raised by Madame Rosa, a former prostitute who now takes care of the children of sex workers. Their bond forms the heart of the story. As Madame Rosa ages and her health declines, Momo tries to navigate life, love, and survival in the streets of Paris. A story about resilience and the beauty of human connection.

• Ghosts by Dolly Alderton: Dating in our 30s, friendships, getting older etc. Dolly Alderton just gets all of it. It’s funny, a little sad, and so relatable.

• Purple Hibiscus by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie: This novel explores the struggle of a teenage girl living in a home filled with both love and fear. It’s a story of family, faith, and the courage to break free.

• Les Impatientes by Djaïli Amadou Amal: In her book, the Cameroonian feminist activist Djaïli Amadou Amal tells the story of three women with very different lives, yet each faces the same harsh reality: forced marriage, daily survival, and the fight to be heard. Inspired by her own experiences, the book is well-written and draws you into each woman’s world. It stirs strong emotions, both empathy and anger, and stays with you long after you finish reading.

If you’ve read any of these (or have your own “Books that hit different”), let’s talk!